“Consumed by sorrow I put my cave in order so as to retire inside and work. And I heard a voice which I knew saying: “Come up, I am waiting for you here”. Sadly and slowly I went up towards the mountain of God, with love in my heart, gathering all its forces cried out: “Oh, most beautiful of virgins, pure virgin, hear the voice of this miserable mortal! Listen to me, my Spouse, listen to me! I am unworthy of you, I am a wretched sinner, but I am yours, just as I am. Holy Church, Oh, Most lovable of spouses, do not send me away! I come to you because without you I am nothing, without you everything within me is darkness,without you, o pure virgin, I am the most miserable of all men; I come to you, receive my poor heart, let it rest in your arms”.
Darkness and sadness covered my spirit. And I reached the peak of the mountain, and there I found the one I was searching for.
–You are alone . . . Happy solitude!
– I am with you.
–I have everything now with your presence; having you there is nothing lacking for me”
(Fr. Palau, My Relationships 9,2-3)
The experience of feeling unworthy is not far from anyone of us. There is this dark place in our hearts that even love without measure seems to be not capable of lightning up. The burden of sins, limitations, mistakes, wrong decisions… sometimes it’s too much! Compared with the purity and perfection of our Beloved, we feel like the last one with the right to be called his spouse. But there He is, always with us. Telling us with his sweet voice: “Come up, I am waiting for you”. And only because of his presence and love, with trembling voice and humble heart, we are able to respond him: “I am yours just as I am”.