The only mature relationship can happen between people who know who they are. Be it marriage, friendship, spiritual direction… fidelity to oneself is the basis of happiness and success in human relationships. So called liquid personalities, people who are so insecure and in need of acceptance that they are willing to change with the only purpose of getting this acceptance for others, have a long way of getting mature, knowing oneself and one’s worth.
Palau explains that this „fidelity to each one’s vocation” (fidelity to oneself) is the basis of the relationship of spiritual direction. Each person has her/his own way of living vocation to which God has called. And it is not good to allow others decide on our way. Spiritual direction has its purpose in trying to discover together the will of God, because together it is easier and one doesn’t get cheated by one’s own desire, feelings, imagination. But at the end, each one of us we need to take our own personal decision and own this decision: pay all its consequences and maintain fidelity. These are the signs of spiritual and human maturity.
One more thing: about sacrament of reconciliation. Palau reminds us that confession is only one part of this sacrament. There is also examen of conscience, decision of not returning to our sins, pain for our sins and paying back to those whom we have hurt by them. Each one of these part is important. Sometimes our confessions have no incidence on our lives, because we limit to only say our sins to a priest. We don’t regret, we don’t decide, we don’t repay. Maybe this year, as we prepare for Easter, our reconciliation may be more complete and lead to real conversion of heart…?
Es Cubells, June 1, 1855
Direction. It has been for ten years now that your destiny had passed through my hands. Your destiny moved along with mine and it is best and preferable that you will not ignore the main points that are to guide you in what is lacking to get going.
From the year 1843 to 1855 I traversed a pathless mountain in the dark night amidst the storms. I had to suffer and to endure the severest attacks and trials everywhere, and [. . .] that for a moment or another a light will come out from that darkness, and will show you the way; that hope will be infused not by the darkness (it was incapable) but by the prophetic spirit; you will be strengthened, encouraged, comforted, nourished and animated; and this sound, good and faithful spirit, will not deceive you.
This time of trial is over for you, because it is all over for me. Move along and then, give one more step and rest in the middle of the way. From what I told to you, time will have the desired effect. Do not judge the future by the past, because you will be deceived. Continue because in following, the darkness will later become a reality [. . .].
It is of your spiritual interest that I am being faithful, most loyal to God: that you listen and put in practice his orders and counsels and go on according to the vocation and by the ways that God likes to open for you. In this I agree with you, for if I go astray you will be the victim of my disorders. In order that the direction will be good, two things are necessary: that I will be faithful to God, following his inspirations in everything related to my spiritual welfare, and that you also will be faithful to your vocation. Without this fidelity there is no spiritual direction, otherwise, there will be separation and breach of concord. Only charity, true and eternal love, is the bond that will unite us in this life, and if we separate from God, this union and harmony is not possible, nor could there be true spiritual filiations.
On my part I will do everything I could in order to persevere united with God. I expect nothing from myself, but I expect everything from his divine grace. I will tell you what I feel, what I do and what I would like to do. Ever since our Lady of all Virtues placed her throne in this place, I felt different from what I used to be, and I occupied myself only in examining the past, in order to correct my deficiencies; because for me now is the time of order, peace, prayer and rest. God has cast away all the devils so that I will not be disturbed, or be troubled in my sleep. I made a long journey; worn out and exhausted I needed rest, more than food and drink; I will sleep, then, wake up: I will eat and then work.
My daughter, such is my situation, so believe me, look at me, and do not think otherwise. You do not have to be here, or see my exterior actions, in order to know that I do not deceive you. As I am, I will come to see you, as I am, my spirit will visit you, as I am, you will know me, and you will truly experience what I am and will be, because if I am alive, I will come alive, and you will receive me alive, you will speak to a living person, listen and follow a living person. I would not hide any deadly danger from you. Time and experience will foretell and indicate to you that what I tell you is a reality; so my daughter, be sure of this. This is one, better I will say, the only reason that made you fear and caused you to combat and still go on combating. Clarified with these two points, the rest is of little importance for you, and then you will have fortitude and peace for your soul, anywhere in the world where obedience and circumstances will take you.
One word on conscience and confession. I wish to lengthen this, but I will not dare yet, I will do it in a convenient time and soon without delay. I will meditate much on this and will not forget it because this is one thing I work on scrupulously. Regarding all those faults that you need to confess, you know already more or less how to make a confession. Do not be troubled about it. Leave to the discretion of the directors to advice you to a greater or lesser detail in the confession. Remember that the confession is one of the parts of the sacrament and it is not the sacrament. Confession admits more or less explanations, depending on the circumstances, and the greater or lesser explanations are left to the judgment of the director who knows how and when to speak. Speak as little as possible in general confessions. We will write on this.
I end this letter, telling you that I will do and will work out to attain your true happiness, and with these sentiments believe me always and dispose of a father who loves you in Jesus Christ.